|Cambridge Botanical Gardens|
|Bluebells at last!|
I was desperate to see some bluebells and I got my wish and more. The gardens were gorgeous, the birds were singing, the sky was blue and best of all some sunshine after all the dismal weather we had been having. This gave me a real lift and boost, after all the hospital visits over the last week and the never ending deluge of rain and grey skies, I had begun to feel rather fed up. Another place I wanted to visit while the apple blossom was out was the Orchard at Grantchester, so we headed there after we had finished at the Botanic Gardens and rounded our day off with an afternoon cream tea sitting in the Orchard. The blossom trees looked beautiful, the whole place is quintessentially very English. It feels good to try and turn around a morning hospital visit into a lovely day out.
|Forget me nots at Batsford Arboretum|
The day after didn't go as well, after getting up and going down for breakfast quite early - well nine or so, but that is early for me - I took a turn for the worse and felt really sick and unwell and my skin was flushing badly, I ended up back in bed for a few hours. We finally managed to get to Batsford Arboretum for some lunch and a look around. Again, the weather stayed fine, but it was dull and cold, but the plant life was beautiful and again the outing gave me a real lift after feeling so unwell, but it wasn't long before I felt pretty rough again and this time I had some chest pain, although I wasn't exerting myself in any way as Rob was wheeling me around the pathways in my wheelchair. We gave up and went back to our hotel room and I just went to bed for the afternoon to try and recover.
It is times like this when I feel that I've let myself down and let Rob down. He'd hoped for a nice day out, albeit with my restrictions and had had to spend it feeling stressed about me all the time and whether at all we should really even be away from home. As for me, well I have the feeling that I should be able to manage simple things and I simply cannot. I have had everything done for me today, meals have been made, I've been chauffeured about, I've been ferried around in my wheelchair, all I had to do was get up and get dressed and I feel so ill and am really struggling with everything and its worse because we are away from home. It feels as though my body just totally lets me down at times, when my head wants to be getting on with things.
I come round again by teatime and I suggest to Rob that we could have a drive for half an hour to see some of the pretty villages that are roundabout, just to get out of the room and give him a break if anything. I assure him over and over that I feel a lot better. We managed a short walk around Broadway, the sun had even come out and Rob managed to take some photographs of the striking Cotswold stone buildings, many of them were swathed in late sunshine and wisteria was in full bloom everywhere.
We had a very quick dinner that night, I only really had a little of what I fancied, then we went back to the room to relax , read and watch TV. I went to sleep early in the hope of a better day tomorrow, however I was awake with more chest pain in the night. Chest pain can be a usual symptom of my PH, although I hadn't had it as bad as this for a while, I had had similar before and had had this checked, so although it was in the back of my mind that something might be going on around and in my heart, I reassured myself that I had had this before. I do know that if I had rung up my PH centre or gone to my GP I would be in a casualty department by now. I didn't want to put myself through that, but would if it became worse and I became worried then I wouldn't take any risk or hesitate to get to A & E.
As it was we were only an hour and a half away from home, we had deliberately picked the Cotswolds because of this and Rob was in two minds whether we should get ourselves home first thing in the morning. Morning came and I was feeling fairly good again, but it was torrential rain outside and we were still thinking of cutting our losses and going home.
|Feeling a bit soggy at Hidcote Manor Gardens|
|Steps at Hidcote manor|
|Cottages at Lower Slaughter|
We had a good time in Oxford too. After a sleep and rest we had a lovely dinner in the hotel's lively restaurant. The hotel was something in itself, it was a converted prison with a lot of history. The day after we spent a morning ambling at a snail's pace around Oxford. I decided to try and walk, as narrow city streets busy with people dashing around are not so wheelchair friendly. We managed a wander and visited a college or two. I had to stop and rest at times and by the time we made it to Christ Church College, I was flagging and knew I couldn't really go much further. I was hoping there would be a bench to sit on in the grounds so I could rest my legs again and get my breath, but no it is still in the sixteenth century when it comes to being disabled!
I found refuge in the cathedral, where I sat while Rob took some photographs. We were just sitting quietly together while I got my breath and rested when we were accosted by the cathedral guide, half an hour or so later and very well rested we managed to escape........... I just didn't have the heart to tell her we weren't cathedral fanatics, that we were interested in having a look, but mainly I was sitting because I couldn't even stand, let alone go and investigate one of her beloved stained glass windows.
We decided it was time to get back to the car and collect our things from the hotel and get home, but as usual my body wanted to play games and do something else as soon as we left the cathedral. While I had been resting the nausea had begun to set in and I was flushing badly and having tummy cramps. So off to the cathedral loos and just in time before an entire congregation of graduates and their parents descended on the two ladies toilets available, a minute later and I would have been in big trouble! I recalled the Windermere Ferry experience and thought I can't keep putting myself through this, it really was time to go home now.
We headed for the car nearby which we had left the night before as the hotel had messed up the car park booking. I was feeling pretty exhausted by now and just to make matters worse we could not find the parking bay, which Rob had noted when he parked. I was really struggling to carry on by this point and Rob was getting very anxious for me. Eventually, much to our relief we managed to find the bay and I think I literally fell into the car, I really did need to get myself home now!
All in all, I enjoyed getting away from it all and Rob and I have had some more memorable experiences together, which I will be storing for the time when things get even tougher. It has brought it home to me again, that I am unwell, but at the same time, I must not let that stop us from trying to have a good time. We just have to take the good days with the bad. It is lovely to be home again and it feels safe.
|I love the colour of wisteria against the mellow Cotswold stone|