Grandma

Your outlook to life changes when you have had a life threatening illness and surgery and still live with fragile health. Family moments are hugely important to most people, but after events such as these, precious family moments suddenly become very intense, you strive towards them, enjoy every moment while they happen and value that you've reached yet another milestone and been able to make another precious memory. 

Earlier on this year, Rob and I had the lovely news that we were to be grandparents in the new year. Sarah is expecting her first baby very soon in January. Who knows if the baby is early, it might even be a Christmas baby. If all goes to plan, this will be another massive milestone in our family life, another one of those moments that I will see all because of the kindness of my donor and their family. 

I've already been able to see the scans of the baby and see and feel it kicking, again these are very precious and special moments for me and I value so much that I've been able to enjoy and experience them. Sarah held her 'Baby Shower' at weekend. It seems to be a popular thing to do these days and a good excuse for a get together with friends. We enjoyed a lovely afternoon tea, games and lots of chatter and fun. It was a real boost amongst the health issues of the last few months. It also had me thinking about being a grandma and about both my own grandmas and what they meant to me. 

I remember as a young child visiting my father's mother on Saturdays - playing in the garden; running along to the nearby train track to watch the steam trains rush past and hoot - something very different from home; watching Doctor Who at tea time whilst hiding behind a cushion. I can remember her coming to stay with us and sharing a room with her as we hadn't enough space to give her her own room - endless chatter and excitement that grandma was sharing my room. Happy memories. 

My mum's mum spent a lot of time with us, as she lived nearby - just around the corner. I was very close to her and spent hours with her while I was growing up. She lived next to my primary school - she would come and wave at us at playtimes. I would go to her house for tea after school. I've memories of us going shopping together every Saturday - she always used to treat me and we'd go for lunch in a cafe near the local market. I used to go to her house for lunch every Sunday until I left home. We had many special moments. 

And my thoughts on being a grandma? It's hard to imagine being a grandma, as it only seems a very short time ago that Sarah and Rose were only babies and growing up. I'm only just getting used to my own children being adults. Suddenly I'm going to be a grandma. As a young child, I used to think my grandmas were old. I think most children probably think grandmas and grandads are old. Now I realise my own grandmas were probably only my age when I was little and weren't that old at all. I don't really feel old. I smile to myself, knowing my own grandchildren will probably think I'm old! 

I'm looking forward to the baby's arrival and helping out Sarah if she needs a hand. It's really is going to be a new and exciting phase in our lives, especially since Rob has retired. We hopefully will have the time to be active grandparents. I'd like my grandchildren to have similar and precious moments that I had with my grandmas, give them the time and patience like both my grandmas gave me and make them feel special. 

We are trying to be organised in time for both Christmas and the baby coming. There's still weeks to go, yet it may be imminent too, as we are counting in weeks now, not months anymore. We just hope for a safe arrival and a healthy baby and mum. 

Afternoon Tea? Why Don't You?

We had a fabulous afternoon at Luton Hoo last week. Luton Hoo is a large mansion house, which is now a five star hotel, on the borders of Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire. It has some stunning formal gardens designed by Capability Brown and is surrounded by glorious parkland and meadows. We were delighted to have received a Christmas gift of an afternoon tea there from our friends Ilaine and Richard. 

The present house was built in the 18th century, which makes it a perfect venue for a traditional English afternoon tea seeing the concept of 'afternoon tea' was developing at this time; however, it was during the early 19th century which really saw a rapid rise in tea consumption, as the upper classes increased the tradition for serving afternoon tea following a trend set by Anne, the seventh, Duchess of Bedford. She started taking a light meal of afternoon tea each day, then started asking her friends to join her. This soon developed into her throwing big afternoon tea parties and this trend soon caught on amongst the upper classes and everyone began throwing afternoon tea parties. 

The demand for tea increased greatly, resulting in the 18th century clipper ship era, where regular tea runs where made between India and China by ships like the Cutty Sark, which is now based in Greenwich, London. 

Eventually, as people began to travel more and more, many of the big hotels began to serve afternoon teas and tea shops began to open up everwhere. A traditional afternoon tea usually includes a range of sandwiches, various cakes and scones, jam and clotted cream, typically served with loose leaf tea in a pot and sometimes a glass of champagne. 

Nowadays we still enjoy our tea and cakes amidst our busy lives as we stop to enjoy a break from shopping or sightseeing. It is more of an occasional luxury or treat though to be able to get dressed up in your glad rags and enjoy an afternoon tea in a large country house or fancy hotel together with a glass of champagne. 

We had been really looking forward to this, getting all 'poshed up', visiting a historic house and enjoying a treat of sandwiches, cakes, scones, tea and champagne. We weren't disappointed. The service was very attentive and we felt well and truly pampered. They presented us with a beautiful platter of cakes and scones and as I am unable to eat various foods because of my poor immune system they went out of their way to provide sandwiches that I could manage. They offered us a selection of various teas, brought as many fresh pots as we needed and even poured it for us! Then we rounded off the feast with a relaxing glass of champagne. I am allowed a glass of alcohol now and again and it's nice to be able to relax and enjoy one now that I'm feeling much better than I have for years. 

It had been a very stormy day, but as we were ready to leave, the sun was peeping through and shining on the stunning gardens. We could see the sweeping view through a very tempting pair of glass doors as we left, so we decided to venture out there and explore, as usual, a camera to hand. The sky was looking stormy and at the same time very spectacular as the late afternoon sun was about to set. It cast a beautiful red glow over everything. 

We wandered around the gardens, admiring the views and I was deep in thought about what it would have been like to live in those grand old days of glamorous afternoon tea parties - I think I had been enjoying myself too much, had got myself into the spirit of things and have watched a bit too much of Downton Abbey! I was abruptly brought back to earth as I skidded on the slippy pathway: the paths have suffered with all the wet weather and were mossy and slippy and I did have my high heels on after all! Luckily my balance is back and my legs are strong again following my transplant and I managed to save myself from falling. 

Returning to the 21st century once more, I suddenly realised how different life is today. I wouldn't have survived my illness if I had lived back then as there were no such things as Hickman Lines and no medicines for Pulmonary Hypertension, no technology: in fact Pulmonary Hypertension wasn't even heard of. It is only a recently identified illness and work is still in progress to find more effective treatments and a cure. Fortunately for me, the drug Flolan had been developed and it helped stabilise me until I could receive yet another feat of modern medicine and science, my transplant. 

I think we are blessed to live in these times and I couldn't help but feel, yet again, as we continued to walk around the grounds, how lucky I have been. A truly modern day woman, in my own quirky way, and not through fashion, not through lifestyle, but with what I always carry within me. 

As I looked up to the sky and saw the red glow of the sun shining out through those dark storm clouds I thanked my donor and their family once again that I am able to enjoy these precious moments in life. Somehow it seems an aptly timed moment after such a perfect afternoon.