Christmas Tree

I love Christmas and there's nothing more special than decorating the house in readiness for the big day. We usually do this in early December in our household, so we can enjoy all the build up to the festivities - the twinkly lights, cosy evenings by a warm fire, present shopping and present wrapping. Then there's that final manic food shop, followed by the lovely peaceful feeling on Christmas Eve when everything is done and ready and the festivities are about to begin. 

One of my favourite things is decorating the Christmas tree. Decorations, lights and baubles are brought down from the loft and as each and every bauble is unwrapped and hung on the tree a happy memory is triggered. That's why I love decorating the tree so much - every bauble represents a precious memory. Memories from long ago; memories from the year we've just enjoyed; memories throughout the years. 

Here are a few of those special baubles and memories: 

Salt dough decorations made by Sarah and Rose during primary school. 

Christmas decorations given to me during my teaching years. 

Decorations made by Sarah and Rose during their nursery years. 

A special decoration I chose in memory of my donor, who has given me the chance of more Christmases to enjoy with my family. 

A decoration Sarah gave me for the first Christmas after my life saving and changing transplant. 

A few decorations from Amsterdam after my first flight abroad following my transplant - something I never thought I'd do ever again. 

Some memories of Christmas in New York, my second wonderful Christmas after transplant. 

Some decorations bought at Papworth hospital, above, one that represents the new heart and lungs I received and below one purchased last year when I spent all December and Christmas in hospital there.

 

Precious memories of Venice and Prague - places we visited on a dream holiday for our twenty-fifth wedding anniversay last year when we enjoyed a stay in Rome, followed by a cruise to Venice and a trip of a lifetime on the Orient Express from Venice to Prague.

A bauble from Budapest, where we enjoyed a wonderful trip to celebrate Rob's retirement this year. 

Those are just a few of those special memories that hang on our tree as we begin to celebrate another Christmas and another year we've been able to enjoy time with family and friends and special moments making new memories. We always remember those times with loved ones no longer here too and my donor and their family who have given me many of these special times to enjoy and yet another Christmas to celebrate. 

I wish all my family, friends and readers a very happy and peaceful Christmas and the very best of wishes and health for the New Year. 

Oops! And a very happy Christmas from Ted too - he's all ready for some fun with his new hair cut and groom! 

A Family Christmas

Christmas is around the corner and we are all ready more or less: presents wrapped, cards written and posted and house decorated both inside and out. It has got me thinking about last Christmas, just a few months following my transplant. I'm constantly being asked what was it like that first Christmas post transplant? This was how it was, that first Christmas morning...

I wake and there are tears in my eyes. It is still dark and I lie quietly while I pinch myself and absorb what has happened. It is Christmas morning. Another milestone has been reached. I’m still shocked.

I had hoped for this day. Hope. It can take you a long way on a journey into the unknown.

I’d arrived at my destination. Christmas. A normal loving family Christmas. The realisation dawned. It had been a hard route. Rob, my husband stirs and we wish each other Merry Christmas, we wander downstairs and put on the Christmas lights: festive white lights twinkling inside and out. Everything is ready. Tears slide gently down my face. I knew it would be emotional. I hold them back, but they cannot be contained – they trickle softly like snowflakes falling from a laden sky – they keep coming.  It is bittersweet.

Everything is ready. Stockings bursting: gifts waiting patiently underneath the tree. It’s a real Christmas tree – it’s family tradition.  Collections of Christmas trinkets and decorations gathered over many years and from many places have been lovingly placed around the house.

Rose appears downstairs, it’s 8am, late in comparison to years past, but she is grown now – not our excited young child anymore, but still excited, as we anticipate Christmas. We breakfast to Christmas songs while we wait patiently and restrained for Sarah to arrive.  A young woman, now flown the nest, but always excited for our Christmas together.

A family together – just like any other family. She arrives and the celebrations begin. Rob and I watch as Sarah and Rose follow tradition opening their stockings first. We laugh, joke and enjoy the moment. We exchange gifts and slowly unwrap each present, surprised and pleased with our discoveries.

I’m teary still; it’s overwhelming at times.

We are by the tree and it catches my eye. The beautiful bright red heart shape, sprinkled with gold that hangs there in prime position. It flashes in the Christmas light like the Christmas Star. It reminds me why I’m enjoying this beautiful moment surrounded by my family; why I enjoy every moment now; every minute; every hour; every day.

The heart decoration, a memory of my beautiful donor – the person who gave me a heart that now beats loud and strong inside me - and my new lungs, lungs that allow me to breath easily without fear.

The heart decoration, it hangs as a memory of the person who has given me another Christmas morning with my loved ones: a gift that has given me back to my family, a legacy rippling amongst us.

We carry on unwrapping our presents, but we know we have already had the greatest gift of all – the gift of a new life: a renewed family life. What greater gift could we have ever wished for?

We continue our day, just like any other ordinary family; but for us this is extraordinary …

It is NHSBT's Christmas Campaign this week and all in our transplant community are thinking of those still waiting on the transplant list and hoping they can have their lives and those of their families transformed. So if you wish to do something special for Christmas: have the discussion about organ donation with your families and sign up to the organ donor register. The link to sign up is listed below.

©Kathryn Graham

Festive times

Christmas marked nearly three months since my transplant and I am feeling so much better now, which makes me appreciate even more than ever the wonderful gift of my new heart and lungs. We have enjoyed all the festivities with family and friends and it has all felt very special. I am walking much better -  further, steadier and speedier. I've been ordering everyone to speed up a bit, as they keep walking at my old slower pace - not anymore for me - once I get warmed up, I'm beginning to take off now! I can see wheelchairs and walking sticks being put in the back of a cupboard and me managing that good long walk in my walking boots coming within my grasp now!

Nothing could have prepared me for the explosion of emotions I felt on Christmas morning. I just felt shell shocked - shell shocked we had got to Christmas reasonably smoothly after the trauma of my transplant operation; shell shocked that I no longer have Pulmonary Hypertension after all this time; shell shocked I don't have to wear a pump and catheter continually; shell shocked I had actually had my long awaited transplant and, after all that waiting, that it had actually happened and I am emerging from the other side now. It was as though I couldn't quite believe we had got to this point and I'm still going forward, getting better each week, and for this I cannot thank my donor or their family enough for what they have done for me, giving me this chance of a brand new life and brand new opportunities, the chance to be really me again, to have myself back again like I used to be. 

Coupled with all these emotions were feelings of great sadness - sadness for the person, who had lost their life, which has enabled me to have a new one; sadness for the family of my donor, who will be trying to find a way through this first Christmas without their loved one, but still found the strength, in the most extenuating of circumstances, to agree to give me my gift of life. It was a very emotional day and I thought of my donor and their family throughout the day, as did Rob and the girls. I don't know how we can ever thank them for what they have done for my family, there is no greater gift that could be given or received. I truly hope that one day the family will find some comfort in that they have enabled lives to be transformed and changed for the better, because of the brave decision they have made. 

We had a few interviews with the local press about my transplant operation and to promote organ donation immediately before Christmas and Rob was on Jack FM Hertfordshire once again taking part in a live debate on the 'Opt - Out Scheme'. We were pleased to see that our story was on the front page of the Welwyn Hatfield Times and really hope it motivates people to sign up to the organ donor register. We were also in the Hertfordshire Mercury and Advertiser, so hopefully with both radio interviews and the press coverage we may have covered most of the Hertfordshire region with our campaign to get more people signing up to the organ donor register. The link to NHS Organ Donation is listed below (at the bottom of my blog), just click to sign up if you haven't already.


http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/knebworth_organ_transplant_patient_celebrates_special_christmas_and_new_year_1_3155918

www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hertfordshire/knebworth-womans-christmas-at-home-after-heart-and-double-lung-transplant-20131223102603.htm

We had extra special news on Christmas Day, when Sarah and Oli got engaged, making Christmas even more special.  We were all so thrilled and delighted with the news and there is now so much to look forward to!  

With everything that has happened to us recently I was already in tears, so there were more tears, tears all day on and off! Tears of hope, tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears of thankfullness, tears for a future, tears for life, tears for loss of life and loved ones. And there were toasts, toasts to loved ones we have lost, toasts to my family, toasts to the future, toasts to my donor, who is always with me now on my new journey and toasts to their family.

I have a future now, the hope for that, when all hope was dwindling as each year passed, can never be replaced. It is a treasure that I will always cherish whatever the future may hold.